Conviction

Focus, Clarity

This essay is mostly about an interesting phenomenon I’ve observed in myself, and that’s when I “decide” to do something. I put “decide” in quotes, because the word itself implies some kind of finality, some kind of certainty, and in reality it’s a percentage point scale that’s not 0 and not 100, but always somewhere in between. There’s no finality in the world that we live in, everything just keeps changing instead.

The word I’m using to describe this phenomenon is “conviction,” and it comes through when two things are present: a clear description of what I’m setting out to do, and a surge of energy and focus when I engage with that clarity. It can be generated from deep within in certain circumstances.

Here are some examples:

• Visualizing energy from the universe absorbing itself into my arms and head, I say very clearly “I am going to finish this workout exactly as planned. I will do three sets at maximum effort.” I drum the words in my head with a loud voice, and I feel the energy coarsing through me
• Seeing a waterfall of power engulf my shoulders and upper torso, I boom from within: “Other people’s beliefs are an illusion. I am as powerful and limitless as the sky.”
• Feeling an electrical charge start from my feet and crackle up to my butt, abdomen, and head, I say: “I will finish this project before the end of the day. I will neutralize distractions and one-pointedly conclude this work.”
• Visualizing a ball of energy forming in my lower chest and filling my entire body, I internally say: “I will fast this Saturday and Sunday, and my body will heal itself while I do. I will not eat Saturday or Sunday”

One might ask, why does this work? And the answer is that we don’t really know. Science seems to think that the amygdala is involved in memory creation, and perhaps memory creation and execution are interlinked. One way to think of this is that you’re creating a habit, and you’re giving your subconscious ample reason to look at and internalize that habit. The more energy and focus you bring to something, the more likely it is to stick.

Another way to think about it is that we evolved to learn from things we decided were important to pay attention to, and that being clear while inputting energy is a method to ensure we’re paying close attention.